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“I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.”
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More quotes by Steven Wright

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks h...
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire...
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs ...

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