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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need th...   Funny
Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.  
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell ...  
Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood ha...  
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. C...  
Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.  
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite th...  
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what ...  
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  
Gray hair is God's graffiti.  
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children...  
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authoriti...  
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to p...   Success
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him...  
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than yo...   Success
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the...  
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin eac...   Age
Men and women belong to different species and communications between t...  
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but ...  
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for...  
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually pro...  
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child...  
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and...  
People will frighten you about a graduation...They use words you don't...  
Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself i...  
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the ...  
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I d...  
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to hav...  
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted...  
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.  
The truth is that parents are not really interrested in justice. They ...  
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we a...  
There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it rig...  
When you become senile, you won't know it.   Age
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can fi...   Humor