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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.   Life
A fool and his money are soon elected.   Life
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods wh...   Life
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with...   Life
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't ...   Life
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that wa...   Life
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for ...   Life
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting som...   Life
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I wi...   Life
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.   Business
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found ou...   Life
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that c...   Life
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to hap...   Government
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take...   Life
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only ge...   Life
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.   Life
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.   Life
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.   Life
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock...   Politics
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for ...   Life
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold i...   Business
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.   Life
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just si...   Life
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit...   Life
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.   Life
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously an...   Life
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.   Life
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we...   Life
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.   Life
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him ...   Life
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.   Politics
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like g...   Life
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the ...   Life
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only o...   Life
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!   Politics
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out ...   Life
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their produ...   Life
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...   Life
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"   Life
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Cou...   Life
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything c...   Life
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.   Business
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.   Life
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a y...   Life
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but ev...   Life
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in...   Life
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don...   Life
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government workin...   Life
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.   Business
It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only...   Life
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product...   Life
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.   Life
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot t...   Life
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.   Life
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.   Life
Nothing you can't spell will ever work.   Life
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taf...   Government
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...   Life
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.   Life
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other ...   Life
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.   Life
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to ...   Life
Politics is applesauce.   Life
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.   Life
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the ...   Life
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.   Life
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can s...   Life
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.   Life
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow...   Life
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.   Life
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he...   Life
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That'...   Education
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each ...   Life
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to ad...   Life
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applau...   Movies
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.   Life
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.   Life
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.   Life
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.   Life
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the ...   Education
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on se...   Politics
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole governmen...   Life
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.   Life
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.   Life
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as ...   Government
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when...   Life
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.   Life
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and ap...   Life
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and th...   Life
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.   Life
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he...   Life
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I...   Life
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody fro...   Life
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you...   Life
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the frui...   Life