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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.   Life
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, a...   Life
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shinin...   Life
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting ...   Life
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.   Life
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.   Life
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in n...   Experience
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.   Life
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.   Life
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He ...   Life
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often   Life
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they e...   Life
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.   Life
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.   Life
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't mat...   Age
All generalizations are false, including this one.   Life
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" - a strange complaint to...   Death
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then succes...   Life
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.   Life
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off the...   Life
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.   Life
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is st...   Life
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.   Life
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.   Life
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.   Life
Better a broken promise than none at all.   Life
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography ...   Life
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the commo...   Religion
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.   Life
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.   Life
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessitie...   Life
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.   Life
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on soci...   Life
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.   Life
Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pra...   Life
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.   Life
Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden ru...   Life
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.   Life
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.   Life
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you...   Life
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.   Life
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exis...   Life
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.   Life
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, d...   Life
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heel...   Life
Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect wo...   Life
Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong...   Patriotism
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.   Life
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.   Life
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not...   Humor
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.   Life
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.   Life
Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold ...   Life
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good exam...   Life
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.   Life
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that ha...   Forgiveness
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has...   Life
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishm...   Life
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.   Life
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I'...   Life
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.   Life
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.   Life
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.   Life
Golf is a good walk spoiled.   Life
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves an...   Life
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal li...   Life
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you ...   Life
Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is...   Life
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.   Life
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring...   Life
Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you w...   Life
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.   Life
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.   Humor
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, al...   Humor
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them...   Life
I am different from Washington. I have a higher, grander standard of p...   Life
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that ...   Life
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me th...   Life
I can live for two months on a good compliment.   Life
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem...   Life
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approve...   Death
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.   Life
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have ...   Life
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I al...   Life
I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals...   Life
I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you...   Life
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.   Life
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.   Life
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.   Life
I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. ...   Life
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.   Life
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a we...   Intelligence
I never let schooling interfere with my education.   Life
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - al...   Life
I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is...   Life
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I woul...   Life
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I did...   Life
I've never let my school interfere with my education.   Life
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to...   Life
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow...   Life
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deterio...   Life
If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question...   Life
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any ot...   Life
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bit...   Life
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.   Life
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is...   Life
In a museum in Havana there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "o...   Life
In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he...   Life
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circu...   Anger
In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come ...   Life
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never di...   Life
In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moral...   Life
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he ma...   Education
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right tim...   Life
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of...   Life
India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion, other co...   Life
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother ...   Life
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you...   Life
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no disti...   Life
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and...   Life
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a ...   Life
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie ar...   Life
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three u...   Life
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world a...   Life
It is easier to stay out than get out.   Life
It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chica...   Life
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb b...   Life
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of o...   Life
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one...   Life
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu ...   Business
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderfu...   Life
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are ...   Life
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to mak...   Life
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight ...   Life
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly goo...   Life
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people...   Life
Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people ...   Life
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see...   Life
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever se...   Life
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.   Life
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be so...   Life
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so...   Life
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diam...   Life
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and e...   Life
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age o...   Life
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...   Life
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man ...   Life
Loyalty to petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul...   Life
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human ...   Life
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired...   Life
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.   Life
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.   Life
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to...   Life
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertisin...   Life
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.   Life
Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like ...   Life
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not un...   Life
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed...   Life
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.   Life
Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name BZJXXLLWCP ...   Life
Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.   Life
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.   Life
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.   Life
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.   Life
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles a...   Life
Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make a...   Life
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.   Life
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate i...   Life
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boa...   Life
Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't ...   Life
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a...   Life
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, ...   Life
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the ri...   Life
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyrig...   Life
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and le...   Life
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he...   Life
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecut...   Life
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.   Politics
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.   Life
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.   Life
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.   Life
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Co...   Life
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.   Life
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what ...   Life
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more ...   Life
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.   Life
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very;" your edi...   Life
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss...   Life
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; ...   Politics
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.   Life
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, b...   Life
The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco.   Life
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the...   Life
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning...   Life
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual super...   Life
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully...   Death
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the c...   Life
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 da...   Life
The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and...   Life
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.   Life
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in tha...   Life
The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procure...   Life
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nin...   Life
The man that sets out to carry a cat by it's tail learns something tha...   Life
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who...   Life
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optim...   Life
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in the...   Life
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance...   Life
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink ...   Life
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. ...   Life
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."   Life
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.   Life
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radica...   Life
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.   Life
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as ...   Life
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are ins...   Life
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting ...   Life
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in...   Life
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to y...   Life
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning...   Life
The vast majority of the race, whether savage or civilized, are secret...   Life
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.   History
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.   Life
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.   Life
There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man'...   Life
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep ...   Life
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. Thi...   Life
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest ...   Life
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and ...   Life
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirab...   Life
There is an old-time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you a...   Life
There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where...   Life
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.   Life
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.   Funny
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale ...   Science
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossib...   Life
Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the ...   Life
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves...   Life
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does ...   Life
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and n...   Life
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know beca...   Life
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than...   Life
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.   Life
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflowe...   Life
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign cou...   Life
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, ex...   Life
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged t...   Life
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.   Life
Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you...   Life
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that...   Life
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even t...   Life
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.   Life
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.   Life
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our ...   Life
We Americans are the lavishest and showiest and most luxury-loving peo...   Life
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.   Life
We are all alike, on the inside.   Life
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still clai...   Life
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place wi...   Change
We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virgi...   Life
We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay o...   Religion
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up a...   Life
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; ...   Life
We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all bee...   Life
We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, be...   Life
We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves unti...   Life
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of...   Life
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that ...   Experience
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody h...   Life
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The ...   Life
What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swe...   Life
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniv...   Life
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.   Life
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being...   Life
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.   Anger
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who h...   Life
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly...   Life
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or n...   Life
When in doubt tell the truth.   Life
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stan...   Life
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a s...   Life
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last y...   Life
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to ...   Business
Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a dis...   Life
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep...   Life
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is be...   Life
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has ...   Life
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not ...   Life
Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself.   Life
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of wh...   Life
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.   Life
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.   Age
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.   Imagination