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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.  
Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.  
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been m...   Funny
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about b...  
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to c...  
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up someth...  
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been mo...  
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?   Funny
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library...   Funny
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you wa...  
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.  
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardwor...   Government
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.  
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.  
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.  
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.  
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.   Success
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.  
The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year, everything from kin...  
The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat.  
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a ...   Society
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is bec...  
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.  
We are all in this together, by ourselves.  
We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.  
We're all in this alone.  
When we talk to God we are praying; when God talks to us, we are schiz...  
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when ...  
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God t...  
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?