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A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.   Dreams
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin ...   Life
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a co...   Life
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open...   Life
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand ...   Life
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, i...   Life
I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.   Life
If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attac...   Life
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but som...   Life
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and d...   Life
My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mothe...   Life
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the m...   Life
The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have go...   Life
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so...   Life
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?   Life
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.   Life