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"Where there is a will there is a way." is an old true saying. He who ...   Life
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo De...   Life
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.   Life
Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.   Life
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply ...   Life
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. ...   Life
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.   Life
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.   Life
He who limps is still walking.   Life
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man g...   Life
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six month...   Life
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.   Life
I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.   Life
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toas...   Life
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.   Life
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Ge...   Life
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plasti...   Life
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.   Funny
If we study the lives of great men and women carefully and unemotional...   Life
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.   Life
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.   Life
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.   Life
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of ...   Life
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut th...   Life
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group t...   Life
Never floss with a stranger.   Life
No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara ...   Life
Once you begin to believe there is help "out there," you will know it ...   Life
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we stri...   Art
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we j...   Life
Suit the action to the world, the world to the action, with this speci...   Life
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the sto...   Life
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.   Life
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.   Life
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.   Life