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A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nel...  
A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry n...  
A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay ...  
According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you ...  
According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever record...  
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for...  
After seeing Condit last night, we now realize how great a liar Clinto...  
Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff...  
America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to ...  
An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's ...  
Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of...  
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he is going to run for governor o...  
As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing cl...  
At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Chene...  
Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said o...  
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on st...   Science
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people ...  
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. W...  
CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three...  
Dick Cheney agreed to be President Bush's running mate once again in 2...  
Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the deta...  
Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate...  
Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says th...  
Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? K...  
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's ...   Funny
Even Arnold's adviser says he was shocked by his decision to run. I me...  
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as...  
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in...  
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarett...  
George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working ou...  
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has...  
Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involveme...  
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowe...  
I guess today Senator James Jeffords from Vermont left the Republican ...  
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." Th...  
If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on d...  
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a li...  
In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was m...  
In California, 50 women protested the im pending war with Iraq by lyin...  
In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wante...  
In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of th...  
In just two weeks, Bill Clinton will no longer be President of the Uni...  
Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend....  
Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting M for his memoir, Hillary got...  
It does not look good for Saddam Hussein and his sons. Yesterday we bo...  
It looks like it's going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger or Gray Davis. Yo...  
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the ...  
It's just a matter of time before we go into Iraq and get Saddam Husse...  
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the ric...  
John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as...  
Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that b...  
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in th...  
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs ...  
More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and ...  
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?  
NBC fired pinhead Peter Arnett. He gave an interview on Iraqi televisi...  
Newsweek reported that 87 Congressman are currently having affairs. In...  
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their pati...  
Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because ...  
Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now th...  
Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick...  
On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a b...  
One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein...  
Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has...  
Political experts are saying the reason John Kerry is doing so well is...  
President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. ...  
President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wro...  
President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and tha...  
President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said tod...  
President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President D...  
President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants th...  
President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It'...  
President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad...  
President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most ro...  
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher...  
Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Ira...  
Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from ...  
Saddam Hussein has told his people that U.S. troops will commit suicid...  
Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his opponents to...  
Scientists in Australia are working on making biodegradable car parts ...  
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemm...  
Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. H...  
Some Democrats say the estimated billion dollar cost of a war with...  
Thanks for coming out on such a hot day. I was sweating like Saddam Hu...  
The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam ...  
The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to...  
The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerr...  
The latest word is that Saddam Hussein is now creating a buffer zone i...  
The military said we'll be able to confirm Saddam is dead with DNA tes...  
The Pentagon said today they're sending another 100,000 troops into th...  
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Ope...  
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be...  
The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not goin...  
The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all d...  
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or...  
The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their ...  
There are reports that Saddam has been spotted in central Baghdad. Par...  
There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured ...  
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know wher...  
They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first w...  
This is a busy time for President Clinton. Not only does he have that ...  
This Ken Starr report is now posted on the Internet. I'll bet Clinton'...  
Today Arnold Schwarzenegger made another major announcement. He said h...  
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!  
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced th...  
Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president ...  
U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the...  
Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyomi...  
War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. The...  
We have an important decision to make now about who controls Iraq. You...  
Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. W...  
Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, that's ac...  
You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bit...