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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well kno...  
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.  
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am an...  
A vice president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man" who has ...  
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commissio...  
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate ...  
Batten, Barton, Durstine and Osborne - sounds like a trunk falling dow...  
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.  
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a gr...  
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.  
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.  
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and q...  
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattre...  
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just lo...  
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a s...  
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I ...  
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...  
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sa...  
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.  
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you fi...  
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...  
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy ...  
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labot...  
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past ...  
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.  
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather tho...  
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate...  
Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats, then ...  
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid ...  
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do ...  
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.   Funny
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.  
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled ...  
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.  
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed ...  
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his o...  
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fung...  
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.  
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad acto...  
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the co...  
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?   Funny
When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Mem...  
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of ...